Ari’s fourth seizure post-NICU came on September 2 at 5 AM. I can sum up the event with two words: horrible, wonderful. The horrible part seems obvious, because Ari’s seizures are nothing but horrible. Terrifying, ominous, difficult to stop, and even more difficult to predict. This one was particularly horrible, because it came at night. Only one other of her four seizures has ever happened at night. It was the first one, and it was the one that nearly took her life, and I believe, did the greatest damage (again, post-NICU). When a seizure happens at night, Ari is oxygen deprived for the duration of the seizure… in other words, until we realize she is seizing and sedate her enough to stop it. Assuming we never come to this realization, well, you do the math.
Which brings me to the wonderful part.
Ari went to sleep with her sister that night, because we were all spending the night at my parents’ house, since it was Labor Day weekend. In the middle of the night, Ari and Bella were still playing (which was to be expected), so we separated them into two different bedrooms. Since Ari was upset over losing her sleepover companion, Jake decided that he would lie down with Ari until she fell back to sleep. He had every intention of leaving her bedroom once she feel asleep, but miracles do sometimes occur and he fell asleep beside her, leaving her at his side.
He stayed asleep until he was awakened by the faint nearly inaudible sounds of Ari having a seizure. Basically the sound of jagged breathing and blinking is what awakened this man who can sleep through the sound of a wailing baby in a fully lit bedroom night after night. Ari had barely begun seizing too, which was evident by her still-pink face (she turns blue rather quickly once she starts). I happened to have Ari’s medication on me, which I have to admit isn’t always the case. Ari’s medication happened to work, which has never happened before (maybe because I was always too cautious about the dosing). Ari stopped seizing within five minutes of taking 2 mg Klonopin. This time, I wasn’t at all stingy with the dosing. After the episode, she let out a very sleepy, very high smile and went to sleep until morning.
We didn’t even have to call 911, let alone have her admitted to the ICU for an arduous, and frankly tortuous 3-day stay. I felt empowered, I felt relieved in a very amazed kind of way, and I felt grateful. Grateful to God, truthfully. I have never felt more like Ari was being watched out for than I did right then. I fell asleep saying my thank you prayers. Over and over. Belief in miracles renewed.
