R-Word: Spread the Word to End the Word

I pledge and support the elimination of the derogatory use of the r-word from everyday speech and promote the acceptance and inclusion of people with intellectual disabilities.

If you would like to join me or would like to hear how others are spreading the word, please go to www.r-word.org.

Public Service Announcement declaring the “r-word” to be just as hurtful as any other slur.

The following article was borrowed from http://www.r-word.org/r-word-dialog-1.aspx

HOW TO DISCUSS THE R-WORD WITH OTHERS

Having a conversation about the r-word can be difficult and often uncomfortable. Use the dialogues and tips below to help you successfully articulate why the r-word is hurtful and harmful in everyday speech.

Dialogue Scenario 1: When a friend/family member uses the r-word

Person 1: I am such a retard; I forgot to get milk at the grocery store.

Person 2: Hey, I would appreciate it if you didn’t use the word retard around me anymore.

Person 1: Oh don’t worry about it; it’s not a big deal.

Person 2: It actually is a big deal, when you use retard as a synonym for stupid or idiot, you are saying that all people with intellectual disabilities are stupid, and that’s definitely not true.

Person 1: But I’m not making fun of people who are mentally retarded, it’s just a figure of speech. It’s how I talk.

Person 2: The thing is, when you use the R-word as slang, you really are hurting people with intellectual disabilities because of the negative connotation of your comment. The R-word has been associated with people with intellectual and developmental disabilities since its inception, so when you use the word in a negative context, you’re putting down people with intellectual disabilities, regardless of if you mean to or not.

Person 1: I appreciate what you’re saying, but it’s imbedded into my vocabulary. I couldn’t stop saying it if I tried.

Person 2: I’m not trying to tell you what you can or cannot say, but what I want you to recognize is that people with intellectual disabilities deserve respect, and using another word instead of the R-word is one step towards making them feel respected and valued in society.

Person 1: Ok, I can understand it might be hurtful to use the word when a person with an intellectual disability is around, but why does it matter now, when I’m just hanging out and joking with my friends?

Person 2: Using the R-word doesn’t just hurt people with intellectual disabilities, but it also hurt their friends and families. [Discuss personal story about why this is important to you]. Having seen the hurt that the R-word can cause, I know it’s important for me to take a stand and try to change the conversation. I hope you can understand why it hurts and upsets me when the R-word is used and why I would appreciate if you chose another word to use.

Person 1: I’m sorry; I didn’t realize how much the R-word upset you. I will try to use another word instead.

Person 2: Thank you for understanding.

Tips for a successful conversation:

• Stay calm and collected, it will not help the other person see your point if you are angry and emotional.
• Try to understand the reason he/she disagrees with you. Listen, be respectful and then provide a counterargument that highlights the harmful and hurtful effects of using the R-word.
• Share a personal story about why the R-word is hurtful to you. Personal stories will help people more easily relate to what you are saying because it illustrates your personal commitment to the campaign.
• If you encounter a question you are unable to answer, direct the individual to the Spread the Word to End the Word website (www.r-word.org) to learn more about the campaign, Special Olympics and Best Buddies.

‘Look me in the eyes… I said the eyes.’

As her parent, it’s easy to overlook Isabella’s “disability” (transverse limb reduction defect – missing left hand and forearm).  In the face of Ariana’s more functional challenges involving communication, mobility & self-care; on top of Isabella’s resilient and jubilant personality, Isabella’s limb deficiency doesn’t get much in the way of pity or babying from us.  Come to think of it, we rarely think twice about Isabella’s arm at all anymore except to smooch on it, because it is just so freakin’ adorable.  She learned to utilize her myoelectric prosthesis functionally before she even turned two, to grasp and release objects.  She has even removed her watch and bracelets from her other wrist on occasion, using her prosthesis.  Smart and able, that girl is.  Even still, she can do far more without the prosthesis than with.  With the exception of two-handed piano playing and shoelace tying, I’d wager that she can do anything you can do with your hands, given a try or two.  And to be honest, I don’t know of one two year old that is much of a pianist or shoelace tier at that.

Nevertheless, Isabella’s physical difference has been brought to our attention quite a few times in recent months.  Shocked… yes, shocked, Jake and I both are to hear the thoughtless, insensitive, and downright cruel things that come out of some little girls’ mouths when they see Isabella’s arm (I say girls, because I still have yet to hear anything besides simple curiosity coming from a boy or an adult stranger).  This has started happening with substantial frequency these days -- on the playground, in public restrooms, at Ari’s school, at Peter Piper Pizza -- perhaps because Bella is no longer a baby?  Who knows?  But, we both have decided that it is unacceptable.  Plain and simple.  Isabella, and every child with a disability, is too precious to be subjected to this.  I used to just get red-faced and fume when I’d see pointing, uncontrolled staring, exclamations of “OMG”, and words like “scary”, “gross”, “weird”, and “freaky”.  Now, I have to say, that I still get red-faced and I still fume, but I also remind those children that it is bad manners to point.  I make direct eye-contact and issue a friendly “Hi!  What’s your name?” to interrupt staring.  I correct children with unkind language, and firmly inform them that her arm isn’t “scary”, and I give them a quick lesson in empathy by asking them how they think they would feel if someone told them they looked “scary”.  I’ve had to do this in the presence of these children’s parents and teachers before, which is the natural consequence when some children’s parents and teachers don’t do a good enough job of it themselves.  You may be wondering why I bother, why I even take my time to reply to those kids.  And my answer is, because Bella can’t right now.  She understands those kids, and every word and insinuation they they are making, and it is sinking in.  I can’t stop that.  Isabella has perception that extends way beyond her years, and I notice that she tends to look at and rub her arm when she hears people talking about it in front of her.  And I’ll be damned if I’ll be silencing my own voice in fear of “what other people think” while Bella gets the most beautiful parts of her spirit squelched out by insecurities and bullying by ignorant others at the tender age of two.

With that said, when proactive parents ask what they should tell their children about Bella’s arm, I usually say something (for the younger ones) like “That’s the way Heavenly Father/God made her.  Isn’t that special?”  For the older children, I tend to say, “She was born without that hand.  Yeah, she only needs one to do all the same things we do!  How cool is that?”  I may also tell them that Bella has an extra hand that she uses when she wants to, and she can take it off whenever she feels like it.  Curiosity is a beautiful thing.  I encourage it in children wholeheartedly, in general, and especially when it comes to Bella’s hand.  Most children react favorably to Bella’s hand, and are fascinated by it.  I love to see that!  But when ignorance or “innocence” becomes the excuse for bullying, mistreatment, singling-out, or discrimination; this is deplorable, and I ask you to join me in helping to educate others and nip it in the bud whenever and wherever it occurs.

 

That said, gorgeous Belgian model, Tanja Kiewitz, who happens to be one-handed in the exact same way as Bella, not “handless” as the title infers, makes a bold statement to raise awareness of disability issues; put simply, that people with disabilities are people with personalities and feelings, oh yeah, and bodies too.  They aren’t strange or very different people, they aren’t empty shells of a person with an unusual resilience to ostracism and criticism, and they aren’t just their parts (functional or not, typical or not).  I am ever so pleased to hear the overwhelmingly positive support for Tanja Kiewitz and this campaign… you go, girl!

And thank you to Rick, my father-in-law, for emailing this picture and for being oh so proud of his little granddaughters, Bella and Ari.

Glamorous handless model becomes overnight celebrity after posing in bra for disability awareness advert

By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 2:05 PM on 20th October 2010

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1321945/Handless-model-Tanja-Kiewitz-posing-bra-handicap-awareness-advert.html?ito=feeds-newsxml#ixzz1342ciqTw

A handless model in Belgium who posed topless for as part of a campaign to raise awareness of disability issues has become an overnight celebrity after being inundated with interview requests from all over Europe.

Smiling directly at the camera, glamorous 35-year old Tanja Kiewitz, posed for the shoot in a plunging black bra which adorned an advert which read: 'look me in the eyes... I said the eyes'.

The shoot formed part of a newspaper advertising campaign by CAP48, a non-prof

it organisation which works to highlight disability issues across France and Belgium.

The advert has been so successful that the charity has raised more than €4million from an annual telethon – 10 per cent more than the previous year.

According to the newspaper Global Post Kiewitz has become an overnight star ever since the photograph appeared late last month with magazines and TV crews all across Europe clambering to interview the graphic designer.

'There’s been a huge reaction,' Kiewitz told the newspaper.

'I’ve been besieged on Facebook. Mostly the reactions have been great, really positive feedback. I’ve got journalists from around the world calling; it’s been a bit crazy.'

 

FOX 10 News Coverage

The bake sale was a huge success today! Thank you so much to my mom for putting it all together and making it happen, to all of her wonderful friends to volunteered their time and resources, and of course to everyone who showed up or donated to show their support. We raised $4,000!!!

Here is the latest video clip that aired on FOX 10 news tonight along with the article:

ABC Channel 15 News Story

Bake sale benefit for valley toddler stem cell therapy

BREAKING NEWS

Everyone tune at 10 PM tonight to AZ News channels: ABC 15, FOX 10, & Channel 5 for coverage on the HOPE for Ari story and the fundraiser tomorrow!!!

We Won! Children with Special Needs Protected!

You know, there's an old Yiddish saying that goes, "God slaps you on one cheek and kisses you on the other." I wrote a post not too long ago about how Arizona had decided to cut out the Early Intervention program for children with disabilities because of lack of budget funds. Remember the lawsuit for which I wrote a deposition and was serving as a plaintiff against the State of Arizona, the one I doubted we even had a hope of winning, the one that presented our one and only chance of getting the budget cuts for services of children with special needs repealed? Well, we had a big success today, and we won that lawsuit outright, and babies throughout the state are getting their services reinstated.

Today, our family attended the press conference at the State Capitol. It was very exciting to be influencing public policy, and in particular, to be advocating for something so close to my heart. It is a wonderful feeling to know that, even in a world where it seems like one can be drowned out by the opposition and overwhelmed by bureaucracy, your voice can still be heard. So far, news stations Chanel 3 and Chanel 5 have covered the story in addition to several valley newspapers. I will post a video of the segment as soon as I get it.

Here is the link to Channel 3 clip: http://www.azfamily.com/video/?z=y&nvid=340992&shu=1

Here is the link to Channel 5 article & video: http://www.kpho.com/health/18912232/detail.html

In front of the Capitol Building with the CEO & Vice President of TCH (The Center for Habilitation) and Monica Attridge for AAPPD (an advocacy group for privder services).

Here is an excerpt from the official Press Release:

"Judge Stops Drastic Cuts in Disability Services by DES"

On February 13, 2009 the Department of Economic Security (DES) announced the most severe cuts in services and provider rates since the community system for people with disabilities was founded 30 years ago. More than 4,000 people with developmental disabilities were to be removed from service effective Friday, March 13th, ranging from 2,000 infants in early intervention to adults with severe disabilities, many of whom had received services for over two decades. The already fragile network of service providers was hit with a 10% rate reduction in payment for services even while a recent DES study indicated that provider rates were already substandard.

On February 27, providers, advocates and developmentally disabled individuals and their guardians from various parts of the State sued the State of Arizona and DES in Superior Court over these cuts. They asked the Court for an immediate injunction to stop the suspensions of services and the rate cuts that would jeopardize the continuing availability of essential services. At a preliminary hearing, the Court heard evidence about infants and toddlers who are developmentally delayed and will lose essential services at a critical time in their lives; about disabled adults who will lose personal care services that are essential for their immediate safety and welfare; and about service programs that either have or will have to close their doors if these cuts are permitted.

Today, Judge Joseph B. Heilman enjoined the State of Arizona and DES from making those cuts. His ruling is retroactive to March 1st. The ruling notes that, in the State's rush to fix its budget problems, it acted so hastily -- without public input -- and that it ignored the immediate safety and welfare of some of its most vulnerable citizens. The State's actions threaten to undermine the very network of services that it designed to serve the thousands of program beneficiaries and their families. And in its haste, the State most likely ignored the law as well.

Clients, their families, advocates and providers will hold a rally at the State Capitol next Thursday, March 19th to emphasize the effects of the cuts proposed.