As her parent, it’s easy to overlook Isabella’s “disability” (transverse limb reduction defect – missing left hand and forearm). In the face of Ariana’s more functional challenges involving communication, mobility & self-care; on top of Isabella’s resilient and jubilant personality, Isabella’s limb deficiency doesn’t get much in the way of pity or babying from us. Come to think of it, we rarely think twice about Isabella’s arm at all anymore except to smooch on it, because it is just so freakin’ adorable. She learned to utilize her myoelectric prosthesis functionally before she even turned two, to grasp and release objects. She has even removed her watch and bracelets from her other wrist on occasion, using her prosthesis. Smart and able, that girl is. Even still, she can do far more without the prosthesis than with. With the exception of two-handed piano playing and shoelace tying, I’d wager that she can do anything you can do with your hands, given a try or two. And to be honest, I don’t know of one two year old that is much of a pianist or shoelace tier at that.
Nevertheless, Isabella’s physical difference has been brought to our attention quite a few times in recent months. Shocked… yes, shocked, Jake and I both are to hear the thoughtless, insensitive, and downright cruel things that come out of some little girls’ mouths when they see Isabella’s arm (I say girls, because I still have yet to hear anything besides simple curiosity coming from a boy or an adult stranger). This has started happening with substantial frequency these days -- on the playground, in public restrooms, at Ari’s school, at Peter Piper Pizza -- perhaps because Bella is no longer a baby? Who knows? But, we both have decided that it is unacceptable. Plain and simple. Isabella, and every child with a disability, is too precious to be subjected to this. I used to just get red-faced and fume when I’d see pointing, uncontrolled staring, exclamations of “OMG”, and words like “scary”, “gross”, “weird”, and “freaky”. Now, I have to say, that I still get red-faced and I still fume, but I also remind those children that it is bad manners to point. I make direct eye-contact and issue a friendly “Hi! What’s your name?” to interrupt staring. I correct children with unkind language, and firmly inform them that her arm isn’t “scary”, and I give them a quick lesson in empathy by asking them how they think they would feel if someone told them they looked “scary”. I’ve had to do this in the presence of these children’s parents and teachers before, which is the natural consequence when some children’s parents and teachers don’t do a good enough job of it themselves. You may be wondering why I bother, why I even take my time to reply to those kids. And my answer is, because Bella can’t right now. She understands those kids, and every word and insinuation they they are making, and it is sinking in. I can’t stop that. Isabella has perception that extends way beyond her years, and I notice that she tends to look at and rub her arm when she hears people talking about it in front of her. And I’ll be damned if I’ll be silencing my own voice in fear of “what other people think” while Bella gets the most beautiful parts of her spirit squelched out by insecurities and bullying by ignorant others at the tender age of two.
With that said, when proactive parents ask what they should tell their children about Bella’s arm, I usually say something (for the younger ones) like “That’s the way Heavenly Father/God made her. Isn’t that special?” For the older children, I tend to say, “She was born without that hand. Yeah, she only needs one to do all the same things we do! How cool is that?” I may also tell them that Bella has an extra hand that she uses when she wants to, and she can take it off whenever she feels like it. Curiosity is a beautiful thing. I encourage it in children wholeheartedly, in general, and especially when it comes to Bella’s hand. Most children react favorably to Bella’s hand, and are fascinated by it. I love to see that! But when ignorance or “innocence” becomes the excuse for bullying, mistreatment, singling-out, or discrimination; this is deplorable, and I ask you to join me in helping to educate others and nip it in the bud whenever and wherever it occurs.
That said, gorgeous Belgian model, Tanja Kiewitz, who happens to be one-handed in the exact same way as Bella, not “handless” as the title infers, makes a bold statement to raise awareness of disability issues; put simply, that people with disabilities are people with personalities and feelings, oh yeah, and bodies too. They aren’t strange or very different people, they aren’t empty shells of a person with an unusual resilience to ostracism and criticism, and they aren’t just their parts (functional or not, typical or not). I am ever so pleased to hear the overwhelmingly positive support for Tanja Kiewitz and this campaign… you go, girl!
And thank you to Rick, my father-in-law, for emailing this picture and for being oh so proud of his little granddaughters, Bella and Ari.
Glamorous handless model becomes overnight celebrity after posing in bra for disability awareness advert
By Daily Mail Reporter
Last updated at 2:05 PM on 20th October 2010
A handless model in Belgium who posed topless for as part of a campaign to raise awareness of disability issues has become an overnight celebrity after being inundated with interview requests from all over Europe.
Smiling directly at the camera, glamorous 35-year old Tanja Kiewitz, posed for the shoot in a plunging black bra which adorned an advert which read: 'look me in the eyes... I said the eyes'.
The shoot formed part of a newspaper advertising campaign by CAP48, a non-prof
it organisation which works to highlight disability issues across France and Belgium.
The advert has been so successful that the charity has raised more than €4million from an annual telethon – 10 per cent more than the previous year.
According to the newspaper Global Post Kiewitz has become an overnight star ever since the photograph appeared late last month with magazines and TV crews all across Europe clambering to interview the graphic designer.
'There’s been a huge reaction,' Kiewitz told the newspaper.
'I’ve been besieged on Facebook. Mostly the reactions have been great, really positive feedback. I’ve got journalists from around the world calling; it’s been a bit crazy.'
