Going back to Missouri was akin to stepping back into a different place and time or jumping into the pages of a book. I had been to Jake’s birthplace only twice with him before. Only those times had been shortly before and after we were married and without any children by our sides. I remembered it being like we were living a country song, but only the ones that they barely play on the radio anymore… the songs about living each day to it’s fullest or the beautiful everyday simple minutia of the country. I had idealized it for years, and so much so that I was actually nervous to go back. I wondered, what if I exaggerated it in my mind? What if I remember more trees, creek swimming, and fireflies than there actually were? What if it simply wasn’t as magical with kids/after time has passed/in reality than the place I had cherished in my memory? When we arrived, it didn’t take me more than a few minutes to realize that the place I cherished in memory was real, and it was actually going to be better this time, because I had it to share with my children who drink in magic like lemonade.
We swam in a creek, and it won’t be soon forgotten. You know, the ocean can be so beautiful and massive and almost eternal-feeling, but the river (or creek in this case), is charming and lush and so peaceful. My kids went across, over, and under the waters of this little swimming hole. They lost their flip flops, chased, and found them again I don’t know how many times. They felt the crayfish pinch, and the pebbles between their toes, and the humid air in their hair. All around us it was green. We played for hours until a dark grey rain cloud rolled in suddenly and covered the warm sun and began to shower on us. We were ready for it. We were ready for the next part of our adventure.
While I didn’t document most of our experiences in Missouri with my “good camera”, because it was too cumbersome to carry around, and I wanted to get to play and not have to worry about my gear, I did record part of this day. I had a goal when we woke up at the late hour of 9 or 10 am one morning (as we were still on Arizona time… and vacation) that we would find a park with a creek. In my imagination, it would be something like a park I visited when I was no older than Bella’s age. It would have a little playground with a bridge that crossed over a narrow pond or creek and accessed a hiking trail through the woods. In my memory, we visited this park in autumn, so we couldn’t go in the water, but I had always wanted to. I had recently told the kids the story of this memory of mine at bedtime one night. It was such an enchanting but faded memory that I was never quite sure if it was part-dream. Being as I grew up in NY state and we were in Missouri, I had no reason to believe that such a place could be found, or that it even existed, but something told me to look. I researched parks and found one that I thought might fit the bill. Believe it or not, we drove the whole way there and decided it wasn’t the right park. That’s right, it wasn’t the park in my memory, and something was telling me that this search would not be in vain. So off we drove. After another search of Google images, I believed we might have something close. We pulled up and it was more than close – it could have easily been the same park! Because the hiking trail wasn’t wheelchair accessible, we didn’t make it far on the hike, but we played in the water inside of a cave instead. Small and simple miracles do happen every day.
The thing about Missouri that I wish I had captured more of is family. Family – extended and our own – was the heart of this trip and every trip to Missouri. I always feel a little let down by my photos of family though, because it is so hard to capture the way that we felt so welcomed, the coziness of a small but full-of-love home, what it looks like to have an easy 12 people around a kitchen table and how good that food tastes when it is being passed around hand to hand, or what it sounds like when the kids are off playing and the grown-up cousins are remembering and reminiscing from when they were kids doing the same. Such things are difficult to capture in photos, no matter the camera.
The following photos I took with my phone camera. They are printed in our little coffee table Chatbooks for all to see in our home. Lord knows they get a lot of play, and I am so glad they do.
No comments:
Post a Comment