All You Need

When I was a young girl, I had this idea that I gleaned from the famous Beatles song that all you needed to have happiness was Love, pure and simple. Over the years, I have been corrected several times -- told that my youthful idea was a little too idealistic... a little unrealistic. I was told that in order to be happy, you also must have Health and Money, in addition to Love of course. Well, I got older and I bought into this very realistic notion of happiness. It worked for me. I had all of those things, and I was happy -- it made sense.
It seems that now life is a little different. By many people's definitions, we no longer have ample amounts of two of the three ingredients for happiness. We are back to basics -- just Love. Being the logical type that I am, I had to ask myself how it is that I could still be happy? While thinking about this today, I realized that it couldn't be just happiness that I feel, but something deeper -- something that is strong enough to survive on Love alone -- it must be Joy. Upon realizing this, I felt a great sense of relief. We aren't destined to unfufilling or sorrowful lives. While we may not measure up to the standards of the world's idea of what it is to be happy, we have joy in our lives. And for that, love is all you need.

OUR BABY ISABELLA

As I'm sure that you could gather by the title, we are proud and so happy to be expecting a beautiful baby girl, who we are pretty sure that we will be naming Isabella. Up until recently, our family has not known very much about our little girl because of our difficulty in finding health insurance due to the diagnosed blood clotting disorder MTHFR that has stigmatized our family's health record. Since finding health insurance in May, however, we have been very eager to catch up as much as possible on my prenatal care.

Last Tuesday was my first official ultrasound (the big 20 week anatomical ultrasound). This screening revealed a couple surprises, to say the least. The first of which was that we were having a girl (Jake and I had both been completely certain that we were having a boy). The second was a little more dramatic: our baby girl is missing her left forearm and hand; a birth defect known as a Transverse Limb Reduction Defect. It took a couple days for the news to sink in (although I'm still not sure that it has completely), before we were ready to tell any family. When we finally did open up to close family, it was only because we felt that we had to -- not really because we wanted to. As it turned out, responses to the news were very mixed. On the one hand, we got a lot of empathy and understanding, a lot of prayers, and many words of encouragement, for which we are very grateful. Unfortunately, not all reactions were so positive, which has been pretty sad for us.

We had a Level II ultrasound this morning, which confirmed the news of our baby's arm. Everything else looks structurally okay, so far -- the heart, the brain, the baby's size and facial features are all measuring normally, which gives us great hope that this defect is an isolated problem. The doctors are indicating that, based on the family history of clotting disorders, the likelihood is very great that what caused the defect was a blood clot to the baby's arm very early in the pregnancy, causing whatever was below the clot to simply stop growing or "slough off". It is possible, however unlikely (less than 5% chance), that other genetic factors or a syndrome caused the defect, but we are praying that this isn't the case. Although the stress of the situation is very disheartening, Jacob has been a huge gift to me. Like when Ariana was diagnosed with her seizures, brain hemorrhage, strokes, and clotting disorders in the NICU, the weight of life is bringing Jacob and I closer and closer together. While I must admit that we don't always get along perfectly during the day-to-day and we have our tifts like any other couple, when the going gets tough, we are each other's best friend. It's in times like this that I know that we were meant for each other. We have spent the better part of the last week reading Chicken Soup for the Soul: Children with Special Needs and it is so special and heartwarming. I love my children so much! I love them with their challenges and their differences. I love that they bring me more joy than I could have ever thought possible. I love that they have taught me the meaning of joy, especially through trials -- because without the trials, I might have taken something for granted -- like what a miracle life is. I tell Ariana every day "I would never take you back to the baby store" -- I shredded that receipt long ago. Although she doesn't understand what this means, one day she will, as will Isabella. I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world -- not a baby that can walk, not a baby with 10 fingers, not even a "normal" life. We can be a special family, and that's okay with me. I can't wait to be a mom to three great, very different kids. When Jake and I first found out we were having a girl, we were a little saddened that Gabriel wouldn't get a sidekick and a playmate. Now, we are happy that Ariana will get a best friend. I can just see them now -- Ariana's left hand (her preferred hand) holding Isabella's right hand (her only hand)...a perfect pair.

Gabe is Walking!

Gabe is definitely a walker now! He is definitely showing us that he wants to be a big boy by walking back and forth across the room. Up until recently, he has only wanted to crawl or cruise, but has accidentally taken steps when he wasn't paying attention. All this changed last night. He started walking intentionally. He'll go take 15-20 steps at a time before falling on his bum and getting right back up to do it all again. He is determined! I can't wait for his therapists to see him this week -- they will be so proud and surprised! I just love to surprise their therapists with their new skills. Gabe is barely 15 months old, and only 13.5 months adjusted. All this worrying about his tone (although it is still low), and he doesn't seem to be delayed in any area afterall!
Today, we went to April and Russ Gould's house for a Memorial Day BBQ, which was so fun. While we were there, Gabe just loved playing with the older kids. Although I'm not sure they thought he was quite as cool as he thought they were, he had a blast chasing them around and laughing every time they laughed. He looked like a real toddler! I'm so proud of him.

New Tricks

The kids are 15 months old today (13.5 months adjusted for their prematurity), and they've got some new tricks. Although Gabe has been beginning to take a few shaky steps and stand unassisted, he thinks the best new way to get around (other than walking along the walls) is bear walking. I know, this is not quite a step in the foward direction, but it should only last a week or so, and I think it's cute, don't you? Gabe's other recently developed skills include putting his floor puzzle together, putting pegs in the peg board, and his newest and favorite word "light." This is one of 20 words that Gabe says, but it is getting by far the most use. He points to the light sockets, fixtures, and switches and gives them this label "lai". His newest sign language word is "computer", which he signs by typing with his fingers. Ari's latest trick is awesome! She is holding and drinking from her sippy cup independently, when laying down. She could do it sitting up, but she can't get it tipped quite high enough without help. Reclining, however, it's like she's an old pro. I am so proud of her! Ari also LOVES the pool. She sits in her float and kicks her legs, propelling herself foward. Then she outstretches her left hand to splash under the waterfalls. She gets tons of water in her face in the process and smiles through it all. She could do that all day long -- which is good, because she probably will when we go on vacation! My newest goals for her for when we go on vacation (I think that we've just about decided to take them to the Dominican Republic in July) are to get her eating only regular foods and drinking from the sippy cup. For them both, I think I'll try to move them to one nap. They'll be about 17 months old, and I think that the timing will be right.

15 Months Old (almost)

We've been loving how it's May in Phoenix and still not in the 100's yet. This week, the babies and I mostly hung around the house. As usual, on Tuesday, the Developmental Therapist came. On Wednesday, the Occupational Therapist came (our Speech Therapist is on vacation), and Thursday, the Physical Therapist came. Needless to say, we didn't get out of the house much until Friday. All of the therapists were so excited to see how rapidly the babies are improving with their skills (especially Gabe). Gabe took his first few steps this week (6 being his most consecutive steps, walking from the fireplace to the coffee table)! I am so excited to have a walker around here! It's already so fun to hold his one hand and walk him down the hall. I feel like he is such a big boy. Gabe has also mastered the art of sippy cup drinking, which I'm thrilled about. He drinks his lunch milk from his cup! I know this doesn't sound like such a big deal, but believe me, it is for us! This kid would not hold his own bottle ever (until now) and never wanted much more than a couple sips of liquid at a time. Now, he'll drink and drink as long as he gets to hold his cup. Gabe is also trying to give up his afternoon nap (he forgot to read the memo that babies are supposed to give up their morning nap!). He still wants to crash at 10 AM every morning, no matter where we are, but it's been pulling teeth to get him back down at 3:30 PM for his second nap. Just last week he was taking two 2 hr. naps a day and loving every minute. I thought this was supposed to be a gradual transition. It feels like every time he learns a new skill (now, it's taking steps), he stays up from his nap and practices in his crib. When the novelty wears off, he goes right back to sleeping like a lamb. Ariana is still not even close to giving up her second nap yet, and I refuse to have them on separate nap schedules, so he'll just have to find ways to entertain himself in his crib. Ariana is sitting for longer and longer periods of time. She loves practicing sitting and seeing the world from an upright position. She is also babbling so much more and is wanting to eat larger quantities of food (a major goal of ours for a long time). Now, she eats her whole baby food jar plus some regular solid foods so she can practice chewing. She desperately wants to eat whatever Gabe is eating, but is always disappointed when she realizes how difficult it is to chew. I try to give her the softest foods so she can feel accomplished when she chews something completely and swallows it. Today, we had two of Jake's high school buddies over with their families for a BBQ and swimming. It was so fun! I just love to see new people on the weekends, because I get kind of tired of seeing the same therapists week after week.

Recipe: Alfredo Sauce

These past two days have been a culinary adventure, because it isn't everyday that I'm so fortunate as to have two pounds of leftover Alaskan King Crab meat left over. So, trying to make the best use of it as possible, while utilizing only the ingredients in my fridge/pantry, and of course keeping in mind convenience and ease, I came across these dinner ideas. They both were amazing -- really. On Monday night, we had Crab Eggs Benedict. I won't post the recipe, because I'm sure most people know how to make a standard eggs benedict, and I promise that I didn't do anything fancy except substitute the ham for crab of course, making a world of difference, and turning this brunch standard into something of a fanciful supper. If you feel like going one step further, add avocado to it. Hopefully, your grocery store charges less than $1.79 for 1! On Tuesday night, I made Crab Angel Hair Alfredo. Jake went to bed talking about it, and it was the first thing he mentioned this morning. It's funny what good food can do to a man. Normally, I wouldn't share a homemade Alfredo Sauce recipe that's better than any alfredo I've ever made or eaten, but I figure that I wouldn't have it myself if it weren't for someone else being willing to share it. Also, maybe if I post it, and you make it, you'll invite us to dinner that night?
Original Alfredo Sauce

1/2 cup sweet butter (I usually add extra)
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 cups heavy cream
1/4 tsp. white pepper
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
2/4 cup mozzarella cheese
1 (12 oz) box angel hair pasta
(add crab meat to sauce -- optional)

• Melt butter in medium sauce pan over medium/low heat
• Add the garlic, cream, white pepper, and bring mixture to a simmer. Stir often.
• Add the parmesan cheese and simmer sauce for 8-10 minutes or until sauce has thickened and is smooth.
• When sauce has thickened, add the mozzarella cheese and stir until smooth. Stir frequently.
• While the sauce cooks, boil noodles for 3-5 minutes. Drain.
• Toss with pasta.

If I were a cookbook author, I'd post a picture or two just to tantilize you -- but I'm not. So I guess you can use your imaginations. I think you know what eggs benedict and alfredo sauce over pasta looks like anyway ;). Let me know how the recipes turn out!

Who does Gabe look like?

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celeb - Collage - Morph

Who does Ari look like?

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celeb - Collage - Morph

Mothers Day

Call me sappy, but I really like mothers day and every other Hallmark holiday ever made up. While I don't think Jake really shares my enthusiasm, he definitely did his best to pretend to this year, and it was really sweet. Yesterday, we went out to breakfast at the Gilbert House with the kids. Today, we missed Sacrament to sleep in (an extra 30 minutes, yes!) and we got to relax just spending quality time together all day. Jake wrote me such a romantic card, which to me, is the best kind of gift you can get. I want so badly to post what he wrote, because it was just so poetic, but I won't.

In the evening, my family came over for an amazing Mothers Day seafood dinner that Leah and Marci cooked for us. The menu was ginger seabass with wilted spinach and rice, saffron orzo with shrimp, and Alaskan king crab legs, with a fruit tart for dessert. Everything was so good, and I think everyone was more than a little impressed with Leah's hidden culinary abilities. Now, she'll just have to cook for us more often since she's proved herself more than capable. Because everything was just so good, I'll post the recipes.

Ginger Seabass with Wilted Spinach

• 6 cups fresh baby spinach leaves


• 4 (5 oz) sea bass fillets


• 4 sp. peeled & minced fresh ginger


• 2 tsp. minced garlic


• 1/2 cup fish sauce


• 8 tsp. soy sauce


• 2 tsp. sesame oil
  
• 1 lime, quartered


• cilantro

Cut 4 (12 in. square) pieces of aluminum foil. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Working with 1 foil sheet at a time, place the foil shets on the work surface. Place 1 1/2 cups of spinach in the center of each foil sheet. Top with a sea bass fillet. Sprinkle with 1 tsp. of ginger & 1/2 tsp. of garlic, then drizzle 2 Tbs. of fish sauce, 2 tsp. of soy sauce, and 1/2 tsp. of sesame oil over the fish and spinach. Gather foil sheets over the fish. Foild in the foil edges and pinch tightly to seal. Place the foil packages on a heavy large baking sheet. Bake until the spinach wilts and the fish is just cooked through, about 10 minutes. Transfer the packages to wide shallow bowls. Cool 5 minutes. Serve over rice. Open package and squeeze lime over fish. Sprinkle with cilantro.

Saffron Orzo with Shrimp

• 4 cups reduced sodium chicken broth


• 1 tsp. saffron threads


• 1 lb. orzo
  
• 7 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil


• 1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley


• juice of 1 lemon


• 3 tsp. ground black pepper


• 1 lb. large shrimp, peeled and deveined

In a large pot, bring the chicken broth to a boil over high heat. Reduce the heat to low, bringing the broth to a simmer. Add saffron, stir and simmer until the saffron has "bloomed", about 5 minutes. Refturn the heat to medium and bring the stock to a boil, then add the orzo and cook until tender but still firm to bite, stirring occasionally, 8-10 minutes. Dran orzo and transfer to a large bowl. Add 4 Tbs. of olive oil, the parsley, half the lemon juice, 2 Tbs. salt, and 1 tsp. pepper and combine thoroughly. In a bowl, toss the shrimp with 1 tsp. salt, 1 tsp. pepper, and the remaining lemon juice. Heat the remaining 3 Tbs. of olive oil in a pan and sautee shrimp until just cooked through. Toss with orzo & serve.

beginning a blog

For the longest time, I have been considering keeping a blog to share with friends, family and other like-minded readers. What was standing in my way (other than lack of time and motivation) was that I didn't know what I wanted to focus on. My first blog was a journal of my struggles with infertility and then a joyous documentary of my twin pregnancy. In my second blog, I aimed to reach out to other mothers of preemies and children with special needs, especially Cerebral Palsy. I have also yearned to start a recipe blog, much like the cookbook that I published two years ago, except without having to pay for publication. What I finally decided was that I could accomplish all of these things and more by having a family blog, with which we could share and keep in touch with our friends and family that don't get to see us often enough. I hope that I can do just that!